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Kayaks Back in Base Attack

September 16, 2014

Alarms were once more raised in anger last night at Faslane as paddling Peace Campers swept past security in a daring moonlit amphibious assault. Two boats made it under the first jetty and under the radar, allowing one camper to make a landing at berth 7 near the sub pen. Staff were again caught napping, with none seemingly concerned by our man’s soaking wet clothes, boots, and dreadlocks. Having marched along the road unimpeded by several manned checkpoints, the intrepid trespasser was finally huckled by a singularly conscientious Ministry guard on entering the Trident area.

This marks the first time unauthorised feet have strayed past this perimeter for a long time, and sets a new benchmark for current activities. Of course, the more people we have, the more things we can do…

With the bandit alarm bleeping, the trailing kayak was unable to find a route past alert police and… more details may be confirmed following the outcome of potential consequences.

Having managed to fumble the incursion into their custody, the forces of oppression followed up in fine fashion by failing to successfully collude on the charging and prosecution of a number of statutory offences. Being unable to distinguish between the land and sea, and unfamiliar with the arcane bye-laws ‘protecting’ the Gareloch facilities, the fiscal’s officer managed to get the case against dismissed despite the accused proferring a ‘guilty’ plea in the name of expediency.

Meanwhile, the Peace Camp’s efforts to bring dry clothing to its people led to farce as a car seeking to make the drop-off at South Gate was waved through the checkpoint and into the facility. An immediate alarm led to further disruption and confusion for the proliferationists, whose heightened numbers and state of alertness seems to have precipitated a loss of coordination. So if you’ve already voted by post to banish the bomb, now is an ideal time to cause trouble and strife for the nuclear warfare operation.

Either way on Thursday, Saturday will see North Gate hosting ‘Yes or No – Trident Must Go’ from 12pm. Anti-nuclear people old and new are invited to come and reinforce the message, network, and plan future actions and activities to make sure the pressure for disarmament is unabated.

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