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Peace Camp donates a new and improved sub for the suffering Royal Navy: HMS Hopeful from the Peacekeeper class ready to serve!

February 11, 2017

In January we learned some funky facts about the rather tragicomical test-firing of the UK’s Trident II D5 ballistic missile in June last year: yes, that one where the missile decided to head to an opposite direction than intended and everybody did their best to cover the mess up.

Yesterday we learned that not only the four ageing Vanguard class nuke subs are in wee bit of a trouble with all this maintenance stuff, but also Britain’s fleet of seven Astute class “attack” subs are “not on active operations“. These new and improved hunter-killer subs are not carrying nuke missiles, but would be the ones protecting the Vanguards which do.

Instead of simply reminding that nuclear warfare is a load of lethal bollocks and ridiculing the Royal Navy beyond recognition over it’s falling-apart-fleet-of-rust-buckets, we decided to get pro-active and offer a helping hand! The Faslane Peace Camp did some calculations, careful crafting and here we go with out masterpiece: HMS Hopeful, from new and improved Peacekeeper class!

mermaid

In comparison to Vanguards, Astutes, and such, the first sub from the new Peacekeeper class brings in a few improvements: a) she actually, you know, functions, and b) this scientific masterwork doesn’t put all life on Earth to imminent danger. We invite you to pay closer attention to some fine details:

The missile part is nice and fluffy: capable of reaching targets all the way to 60 metres!

The missile part is nice and fluffy: capable of reaching targets all the way to 60 metres!

The ammo system is an environmentally friendly edition and operates simply with, well, pedal and air force.

The ammo system is an environmentally friendly edition and operates simply with, well, pedal and air force.

The radiation sign? That's just her bling. You know, for street credibility.

The radiation sign? That’s just her bling. You know, for street credibility.

But perhaps we shouldn’t be so hard o the poor Royal Navy. After all, the French nuclear giant EDF seems to be having some trouble with their nuke products, too. On 9th of Feb. an explosion took place in a nuclear power plant near English Channel after fire in reactor engine room.

“They wanted to replace the aging Trafalgar Class rust buckets with these Astutes, and lo and behold, now them Trafalgars seem to be the only ones that, to an extent, manage to stay in one piece. What are they gonna do next, bring out the U-571?” laughs a local supporter who wishes to remain anonymous (after all, the Royal Navy or MoD police officers might not appreciate being laughing stocks).

Maybe even the last stubborn relics should finally get the hint. With disability of producing a non-explodable nuke plant and doomsday weapons able to hit their targets we could finally come to a sensible conclusion of scrapping the nuclear madness, both civilian and military ones, and head towards a more sustainable, humane times.

And of course: as the HMNB Clyde (or Faslane naval base, on more common terms) is in bit of a trouble with finding enough staff and keeping its subs of all sorts in one piece: should anyone be looking for a good momentum to come in and give them some extra work in dealing with directly active nuke criticism, this might just be the time you want to pack up and arrive here?

An artistic mermaid shot of HMS Hopeful: just for the portfolio.

An artistic mermaid shot of HMS Hopeful: just for the portfolio.

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